I had a very revealing experience yesterday. It was my aunt’s birthday and the whole family got together. I love these gatherings. There is nothing better than spending time with the people you love, is there?
One of my cousins has a new husband who is 20 years older than her but he always dresses like a young man and pretends to be younger than her. We were making some fun of him and later someone started a discussion on aging. I laughed about it because I believe there is good in ever age and even though I am not a spring chicken, I believe the best is still to come.
But when I stated that my uncle said I am the last person to say this as I am so afraid of aging. Everyone looked surprised and he said: “Don’t you remember Barbara’s 40th birthday? She was in a terrible state and that just because she turned 40. Now she doesn’t want to know anymore and does everything to look young.”
In that moment I realized he still saw me as I was then, as I was while going through my midlife crisis. I remember that birthday vividly. I really was in a state but this is many years ago and I have changed massively since; have become much more alive and centered.
But for my uncle I am still the same. The middle aged women that thought her life is worthless and almost over and he probably even agrees with me on that. He seems to think my life is pretty useless as he does not understand what I am doing. He does not understand why I am so passionate about my work, why I travel whereever I am needed and do so with pleasure – whether I am paid or not. Personal development? What is that and who needs it?
So if you ever get into a situation like that be aware that they can’t help it. They made a decision at one stage on who you are and unless they keep growing themselves and realize that we either grow or die, they will see you like that forever. It’s nothing personal. It’s them being stuck in an ever repeating “movie of life.
The only thing that is important is that YOU know who you are and who you still intend to become.
Be well
Barbara