Control Anger

Do you ever get angry?
If not, you are a Saint – Congratulations!

If yes, do you stay angry for long?
Can you actually be upset for hours or even days?

Did you know that one hour of anger takes as much energy as 12 hours of normal work? Doesn’t that make one wonder whether our anger is worth that much of our time and energy?

What do you get out of being angry and upset?
What are the benefits for you?

It is important that we ask ourselves these questions because being angry can easily take most of our energy even though issues we are uptight about today are probably of no consequence tomorrow. And in the overall scheme of life they are nothing – nothing more than a speck of dust, right?

The other day I wrote a really nice, soul searching article – online – and as I pressed save the article just disappeared. All those lovely thoughts – gone! Believe me, I was more than a little upset. Upset about the lost time and the lost thoughts. Angry because I should know better than to edit stuff online. Most servers have a time out limit and all your efforts are gone if you pass that. It was not the first time this has happened to me but this time I hope I learned the lesson.

Anger is an emotion and it comes up whether we like it or not but we can get it under control.
If you are alone take a few deep breaths and let your anger out when you breathe out. Breathe in and out very slowly until you feel calm again.

Should you ever feel ready to explode count to 10 before you speak (well, at least until 5) and never, ever write an email or letter in that state. Not unless you want to lose that relationship. Written words are much more hurtful because they don’t go away. They are still there when the emotion is long gone and they might be read by the other person in the wrong moment. All of the above tips help. For me the best one is writing about what made me angry and I can usually totally let go of the emotion of anger. Writing about it makes you much more aware of what is happening inside of you. And from awareness to change it is only a small step.

So after my article disappearing I wrote a short entry in my blog and let my frustration out. Even while I was doing that I started to laugh because what happened really was of no great consequence and not worth losing time and energy over (even though I still think it is a shame that wonderful articles is gone to the winds :-).

Have a peaceful and happy day
Barbara
www.barbarahofmeister.com

 

, , , , , , , ,

2 thoughts on “Control Anger

  1. Hi Eno, why sorry? I totally agree with what you say. Anger uses so much energy that it has to be bad for our health and of course for our mental state if we let it run and roam freely. Thanks for your comments.

  2. Hi Barbara,
    I can totally relate to anger and our need to control it as we become more pro-active and less reactive in our responses so that we create what it is we say we want. Besides that from a medical perspective anger has detrimental effects on our physical being. As coaches we need to have that handled and also be able to recommend that to our client. I call it creating ‘safe ways’ to handle anger. if we know that there is a safe way to express anger and be able to diffuse it we are able to return to our essence a lot faster and life seems less out of balance. Sorry about the article.. There is always a lesson learned. Best wishes and great work coach!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *