Attitude of Gratitude

In the USA Thanksgiving is the most important family holiday. It is also a day on which many celebrities share food with those less fortunate than they are and I know from my own experience that this is a very rewarding experience.

Giving thanks to all the good that already is in your life is probably the easiest ways to find happiness. One of the first things I ask of my coaching clients is that they keep a gratitude journal. Each day they have to write at least 3 things they are grateful for. The more the better.

Why do I ask them to do that? Because I want them to start feeling good about themselves and their lives. I want them to appreciate what they already have so the gap between that and their goals seems smaller.

For most people it seems easier to find things to complain about than to find things to give thanks for. But it is exactly that which keeps them from happiness and fulfillment. What we concentrate on is what we get. When we complain and concentrate on what doesn’t work, we enforce exactly that. That is why when people have financial challenges and don’t stop to concentrate on their lack of money, things get worse and worse. Whatever they try, they don’t seem to get out of that situation and even when they make money they loose it again.

What you focus on expands. When you focus on lack, lack is what you get. When you focus on abundance, abundance will come into your life. Start giving even if you have little and give without expecting anything back. If you give and expect gratitude it will not work.

Our subconscious does everything to fulfill our wishes but it cannot understand a negation. If you say “I don’t want to smoke” it understands “I want to smoke” and helps you with that. If you think “I don’t want to have financial problems” etc. it understands only the basic which are financial problems. Therefore it is omni-important to focus only on what you want and never on what you don’t want.

As I said in the beginning giving thanks, feeling grateful is the easiest way to feeling happy. Look at what you already have in your life and say thanks for that – each and every day. Be grateful when the sun shines and when rain gives water to the land so our food can grow. Give thanks for having a roof over your head, for the food you eat, for having family and friends in your life, and for your health and whatever wealth you have accumulated so far. Give thanks for being alive and kicking. For the flower you see grow out of the cracks of the asphalt, for a beautiful sunset, or the perfect snowflake that lands on your nose.

There are thousands of moments and things in every day of our lives that we can and should be grateful for. Start writing them down in your gratitude journal every night before you go to sleep and again in the morning before you start your day. Do that for 21 days and your life will change. That is a promise.

Happy Changes!


Charisma like James Bond

James Bond is the original Goldenballs. The man walks as though he has golden nuggets between his legs that every woman wants to get her hands on, and every man would like to possess! He has an attitude of being in control and he has bucket loads of charisma.

Charisma is one of the greatest tools for success and high impact thinking. When you think of charisma, people like Cary Grant, George Clooney, Bill Clinton or Tony Robbins might come to mind. Perhaps you marvel at the charisma of Oprah or the regal wisdom of Maya Angelou. Charisma is charm, warmth and personal magic. It is not dependent on physical attractiveness. Charisma is about fire and inner spirit and the ability to connect with others.

Charismatic people are hard to dislike and hard to harm. That is why it is such a wonderful weapon in the secret agents mental armoury. They seem powerful; this gives them an edge. They seem disarmingly warm and friendly; it’s so much harder to be nasty to someone you actually like. So they have this psychic shield around them.

A healthy self-concept gives you the “bottle” to take action, to stand your own against the richest / smartest / most powerful people. With a winning attitude and the charisma that goes with it, you can get into places and into minds that would otherwise be sealed.

How do you get this charismatic high self-concept?

It starts with liking and loving yourself.

The simplest ideas are often the most effective.

Every day repeat to yourself, “I like myself. I love and accept myself as I am. I am highly pleasing to myself in the presence of other people.”

Begin to count your blessings. What do you like about yourself? Appreciate those things. Account for them regularly. What are you good at? What are you getting better at? How are you improving? Who loves you and whom do you love?

That takes care of half of charisma. The other half comes from asking yourself: “What’s interesting / fascinating / sexy about this person? What do I really like about him / her? How can I be of service to this person? How can I make this person feel better right now than they did before they met me?” Taking a sincere interest in other people is a habit that can be learned as easily as the habit of ignoring or disliking other people was learned. Switch them.

To grease the wheels of charisma further, you can also look at presentation, personal grooming, posture, health and above all quality of your speaking voice. All those are covered and freely available on the web. A quick Google search should reveal all!

And now the flip side.

The real genius of attitude is being able to adjust it to meet the circumstances. There are times in a secret agent’s life when it pays NOT to be a tall poppy. Then one has to play with the inner psychology, to temper one’s persona like a chameleon to become invisible, unnoticed, so that one might observe more closely or escape without being caught.

Your mind is a most marvellous machine. And you can adjust your moods, emotions, and the level of projected energy with consummate ease. Simply put yourself into the physiological state of the emotion or feeling that you wish to elicit. Stand and breathe and think as you would if you were having that emotion. Bestride the decks like a giant, a colossus of confidence. Then switch to being like a shy, quiet, small man or woman in the corner. Switch between these states. Switch between happy and sad, between joyful and angry, between passionate and bored. Keep doing it until you realise that you do indeed control your emotional states. You do not need outer circumstances to change for you to feel better. You change the inner circumstances and make the emotions you want. E-motions are energy in motion. You set them in motion.

Play with taking your emotions to higher and higher levels. Turn up the joy dial. Turn up the feelings of bliss. Adjust your attitude from poor me to lucky me, from bad me to wonderful me. You set the tone. You control the deck.

Article by Wily Walnut