Gossip – how it influences us

I found an interesting article from NPR last week that confirms what many of us have known for a long time – that gossip is not just about dishing on people to entertain ourselves (if, of course, we were to allow ourselves to do such a thing! :-). Gossip influences not just what we think about people and expect about people – but now research says it influences how we actually see people. And I mean “see” in terms of the biological function of vision. According to the article – and the biology of the species – human beings evolved to use gossip as a way to help manage interactions. What we could find out about each other prior to an interaction would help us know who is likely to be our friend and who is likely to be an enemy. Check it out: http://n.pr/l4cEGr

Now, I do have a point here. If our perceptions of people influence, literally, how we see them – it follows that there will be some affect on how we interact with them. Our behaviors are often influenced by how other people react or interact with us. Given that, how might gossip influence a coaching process – either in the way a client sees his or her coach, or a coach sees his or her client? Can you use this research to help your coaching clients understand why they perceive certain things about people, even though evidence might not exist? Is this a greater issue in the workplace than it might be in an independent coaching practice?

Articles by Doreen Petty

http://hr.toolbox.com/people/doreenpetty/

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Confidence speaks

“I could never do that”

“I’m just not confident enough”

Have you ever heard anyone saysomething like this? You wouldn’t say it yourself, would you?

You see it is pretty powerful when you make a statement like that. So many people linguistically define themselves to the world; they give themselves no option to be anything else. They actually delete the opportunity to be anything else.

If you repeatedly tell yourself and others that you are…

Not confident…

No good at …

and that you can’t do this or that…

You make that a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Don’t let that happen to you!

Too many people view the future through their past! It is certainly not the best way to do things, looking backwards. Because you have been a certain way before you do not have to continue to be that way for the rest of your days, do you? Because if you do the result is that you become trapped in a perpetuating cycle; with a sense of unfulfilling fear or lack of confidence to show for it. Not much of a way to go, I’m sure you’ll agree?

Wouldn’t it be nice to ooze with confidence in whatever you do? Even if you are one of those people that can’t bear the thought of meeting new people without being properly introduced. Even if you are a nervous wreck when it comes to giving a speech in public. Believe me when I tell you that all of this can be changed. Naturally something that has taken so long to be like it is today will not change overnight but it is within your power to change it.

But let’s first look at where this lack of confidence comes from. We can compare your unconscious mind with a computer. Throughout your entire life it has been programmed; programmed with all your experiences, your relationships, your interpretations of what you see around you, and influences from family, teachers and others. All of this has culminated in your “mind computer”.

Your unconscious mind is the seat of your emotions which come from your beliefs and consequently create your behaviours. A great way to re-program your unconscious mind is to give it new, more empowering experiences.

According to surveys public speaking is the No. 1 fear even before the fear of dying. I don’t know if this is true but it can be quite scary and I have seen people stand in front of a group with loudly knocking knees and quivering voice. I have also seen the same people stand tall giving a great presentation only a short time later.

You see the secret is to overcome what you fear and if you can tackle the No. 1 fear first the rest will tumble like the stones on domino day and you can step “out of the ashes” into your true confident self.

after a while it becomes easy

after a while it becomes easy

I have gone through this experience myself

. The first time I had to speak in front of a group I drowned 2 brandies and it was only 9 am. Today I am actually looking forward to speak in public. It gives me a buzz. Of course I am still nervous but the excitement and satisfaction I get out of it is much bigger than anything else I might feel and the confidence I got out of overcoming this handicap is absolutely enormous.

That is why I am teaching other people to do the same. If I can stand tall so can you and if you are ready, I am here to help you.

Confidence is a must in such a result oriented world. Get your confidence boost now by taking up speech coaching immediately.

Talk to you soon

Barbara


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