Why is Life Coaching so effective?

I am being asked all the time what makes Life Coaching so successful. My answer is: It’s efficiency.

But why is it so efficient? Because it is action based and forward oriented while most other self development tools look at the past and try to find out why we are who we are today.

Obviously past behavior may be a good predictor of future behavior, but it’s never more than a tendency because we can change that. The past is over and the future is unknown. But our past does not equal our future. It will only affect it to the degree WE ALLOW it. This is what makes us humans so unique.

Evidently the past DOES matter, but only to the extent we let it. It matters because we can (and we should) reflect on it and learn from it. But it does not have to rule the rest of our lives.

You can change tomorrow by what you do today. What you think, what you believe and the actions you take or don’t take will affect your future. But change is not so easy and this is where coaching can help significantly.

A coach sees the coachee from a different, an outside perspective. Because of this detachment s/he can ask the right questions so the coachees are able to find new and better answers for themselves. Coaching is not so much about giving advice. It is more about helping the client find their own solutions before building an action plan together. Coachees are then supported while executing this plan.

You may not be able to control ALL the events in your life, but you can drastically increase your odds of success by using a coach whenever you are on a crossroad of your life.

Abundant Blessings
Barbara
http://www.trainingvisions.com/

PS: Why don’t you sign up for my “Moments TO BE” – short inspirational messages and practical tips for a better you.

What is Life Coaching?

In the last few years Life Coaching has become more and more popular but as it is a new profession most people don’t know enough about it to decide whether it is right for them. We hope this article will clarify what coaching is so you can make an educated decision for yourself.

We have all heard of sports coaches. In the old days they were the sports “trainers” but today all high performance sport stars have a mind coach; a person who strengthens their belief in themselves and in their ability to win. Even though Life coaching is not primarily about winning or losing, it is about “winning” the life you choose to live.

Life coaching has become so popular because many of us are tired of doing what we thing we “should” do. We have become aware that we have a choice to do what we want to do!

Be aware that coaching is not a therapy. In therapy the goal is to give you an understanding of your past in order for you to have the awareness of how you became who you are today. Coaching is movement oriented and action based. Where therapy looks back, life coaching looks forward – towards your future and a “better”, more fulfilled YOU.

Your Coach will assist you to identify specific goals and objectives and will help you to stay focused so you can reach those goals faster. A good coach will provide you with the tools, structure and perspective to make the journey easier for you and she/he will make you accountable.

Did you know that people who are accountable are 7 to 10 times more successful than others?

Coaching works in all aspects of your life from relationships, to lifestyle, to career, health and wealth improvements. It focuses on strengthening your skills and improving and trusting your abilities. It helps you to meet and exceed your potential in order to be your best.

Coaching is similar to consulting. Yet, where consulting frequently provides only temporary solutions, coaching is consistent and on going. The Coach stays with the clients to help implement new habits, skills, and changes. Another distinction is that consultants usually give advice and tell people what to do while coaches focus on assisting their clients to discover the solutions themselves. Or in other words, we don’t give you the fish; we teach you how to fish.

We focus on what you want to achieve and help you maintain your commitment to yourself and your dreams and visions. We look at where you are now in relation to where you want to be. Are your ideas and goals based on your true core values? What are your strength and weaknesses and how can we use this knowledge to your advantage?

Our society is looking for a deeper meaning as we begin to understand that we  grow from the inside out. More and more people are freeing their time and resources to invest in themselves because they realize how simple it can be to accomplish something big if you “get a little help from a friend”.

So why not use a trusted friend? As wonderful as it is to have good friends, they are emotionally involved and do not have the objectivity and distance necessary to see where you stand and what type of assistance you need. Have your friends or family ever been shocked because you made a move in a new direction? Have they ever told you that something can’t be done or is not done the way you want to do it? Quite frequently our well meaning friends and family are the “dream stealers” not the supporters we need. Because of the emotional distance a coach is a trusted professional who works with you on improving the most important aspects of your life.

Why would you want a Coach?
You might want a coach because…

  1. you want to grow
  2. you want to be more productive
  3. you want to become more balanced
  4. you want to find new and more efficient ways to do things
  5. you want to make a mark
  6. you want to define and live a life of purpose
  7. you want new perspectives
  8. you want to change certain aspects of your life
  9. you want to reach new goals
  10. YOU WANT MORE!

How long do you have to commit to your coach?

It is not so much a commitment to your coach as a commitment to yourself. Give yourself time; 3-6 months at least. What has taken you a lifetime to become cannot be changed in a day. However sometimes even one single session can make a life changing difference.

If you need help on a specific short term project, you should consider one-on-one coaching to help you accomplish this specific goal faster.  If you need motivation and a step by step process to move you out of feeling stuck and unfulfilled, do group coaching.

Why does life coaching work?

  1. The synergy created between you and your coach creates momentum.
  2. Better and clearly defined goals support you to move towards your “dream life” faster and with less effort.
  3. You develop new skills and habits which translate into higher success and a more balanced life.

There is never a better day than today to start your “new” life. Sign in for your Membership at www.yoursuccesscycle.com

TO YOUR SUCCESS
Barbara Hofmeister
Author and Master Coach
www.thetobebook.com/coaching

Do it for yourself!

“Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something,
perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of
anyone stumbling on something sitting down.”- Charles F. Kettering

Do it for yourself!

Accountability is probably the No. 1 reason why some people make things happen while others only talk about them. If you are one of the go getters, you probably don’t need this advice. However I believe we all have strength and weaknesses and it is good when we become more aware of both. So stay with me as this cannot hurt you but it might make you even stronger and more committed to your success.

I remember when my first coach told me to write him an email every single night I did not take it serious. I said ok and forgot it. He had said it very politely and I did not think it was a requirement.
I soon found out I was wrong and it taught me a big lesson.

He reminded me of my commitment when we next spoke and I thought to myself “Oh why bother. I know what I am doing.” but he did not take that lightly and I will be forever grateful to him for doing that.

On our third appointment he asked me if I think coaching works and of course I said yes. Why else would I pay him to coach me, right? “So why don’t you do your accountability every night?” he asked.
“Oh, I am doing everything I said I would. I just don’t send it to you.” was my fast and not completely truthful answer. “Even if you don’t feel it is necessary, it would help the process a lot.” was his request. And he went on to tell me the story of another client.

To cut the story short, I started to do as asked and do it until today. It has become a habit that I would not miss for the world and tomorrow I will tell you why.

Until then, be successful!
Barbara
www.yoursuccesscycle.com
www.twitter.com/barbarahof

Second Step to Success – Your WHY

Friedrich Nietzsche said: “He who has a Why to live for, can bear almost any How.”

Jim Rohn said: “If the WHY is big enough the HOW becomes easy.

Both mean the same thing. We need a strong WHY, a strong drive that will cary us past hurdles and obstacles.

So now that you’ve hopefully become clearer on WHAT you truly want to do with your life; who you want to become I suggest you continue your journal by writing down all the reasons WHY you want what you want.

Only when you are clear on the WHAT and the WHY will you be able to really get there. It is not your will alone that will move you towards your dreams. It is your burning desire and your passion that will keep you moving continuously even when the going is tough at times.

If you need help I recommend you consider getting yourself some coaching or join our Mastermind Focus Group. Both will help you immensely and will make sure you stay on track.

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Create YOUR Ideal Day

We have often talked about the power of visualization. In my book “To be or not to be – the choice is YOURS!” I ask you to create a VIVID VISION of your ideal day.

What do I mean with that?

I mean it has to be so vivid, so descriptive that it comes alive inside of you. It needs to be so “real” that you can see yourself in that vision, that you can hear, see, smell, taste and feel that moment you are imagining.

For many that vision will not be in caleidoskope colors or in 3D – for me it isn’t – but all the same you will “be” right in the middle of it if your vision is clear and detailed enough.

The whole purpose of this exercise is to assist you in creating life on your terms.  Visualizing how you want to live will help activate your subconsious where 94 to 98% of your thoughts originate and whose potential we hardly use.

Creating a detailled and vivid vision will get into the right mindset and will help you to define a step-by-step set of daily actions you can use to then literally start living that ideal vision once you are crystal clear where you want to go.

So take action NOW!

Imagine yourself 3 or 5 years from today and decribe YOUR PERFECT DAY from the moment you wake up to the moment you go back to bed in every tiny little detail……………….

NOW!

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The Power of Accountability and Gratitude

Yesterday we talked about how I learned to be really accountable – not the half hearted attempt I see in so many but the real thing – every single day. Why was that important?

It was important because it taught me 4 great lessons.

  1. That I was not always doing what I said I would do and that that disempowered ME much more than the other person involved. This was a vital lesson.
  2. That accountability helps you change bad habits much faster than anything else.
  3. That having an accountability partner gets you results in record time.
  4. I understood the power of gratitude but that is something we will talk about tomorrw.

Did you know that being accountable makes you reach your goals 8 times faster? That it makes you up to 8 times more productive?

These are amazing number, aren’t they?

So if you have big goals or a goal that seems unsurmountable, or if you want to break bad habits, get yourself a true accountability partner. If you want to focus only on your things, get a good coach (make sure it is someone who knows what they are doing and who is 100% committed to your success). I get amazing results with my clients because I hold them accountable.

Or if you are willing to help someone else reach their dreams then consider becoming the accountability partner of a friend or colleague but make sure both know what they are in for. It has to work both ways. You both hold each other accountable for your actions.

I found it hard to find an accountability partner for myself because most people do not want to commit 100% (to you or to themselves).  Usually a coach or a Mastermind group work better.

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Accountability – your Path to Success

Accountability is the No. 1 reason why some people make  things happen while others only talk about them. If you are one of  the go getters, you probably already know this. However I believe we all have strength and weaknesses and it is good when we become more aware of either. So stay with me as this cannot hurt you but it might make you even stronger and more committed to your success.
I remember when my first coach told me to write him an email every single night I did not take it serious. I said ok and forgot it. He had said it very politely and I did not think it was a requirement. I soon found out I was wrong and it taught me a big lesson.

He reminded me of my commitment when we next spoke and I thought to myself “Oh why bother. I know what I am doing.” but he did not take that lightly and I will be forever grateful to him for doing that.

On our third appointment he asked me if I think coaching works and of course I said yes. Why else would I pay him to coach me, right?

“So why don’t you do your accountability every night?” he asked.
“Oh, I am doing everything I said I would. I just don’t send it to you.” was my fast and not completely truthful answer.
“Even if you don’t feel it is necessary, it would help the process a lot.” was his request. And he went on to tell me the story of another client and how accountability had helped.

To cut the story short, I started to do as asked and do it until today. It has become a habit that I would not miss for the world and tomorrow I will tell you why.

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Who are you really investing in?

Posted by Lisa Sasevich on http://www.theinvisibleclose.com/articles/who-are-they-really-investing-in/

If anyone should be well compensated, it’s those of us who are doing the work that we were put here to do. But we heart-centered entrepreneurs can find it difficult to monetize our mission, because we love it and we love people and we care, so it’s easy to just give it all away.

Another problem we have is how to price our services. We may look at what others are charging and ask, “Am I worth $100/hr.? $200? $2,000?” But that’s the wrong question because your clients are not investing in you. They’re investing in themselves through you.

So you don’t have to spend time asking if you’re worth it. Am I worth $20,000/day? It doesn’t matter; I don’t have to think about that, because they’re not investing in me. The people who hire me are ready to invest in themselves through me at that level.

I learned this very profoundly in 2008 when I signed myself up for a Diamond level Mastermind program to the tune of $100K. Did I have that money sitting in my sock drawer. NO! Was I up late at night evaluating whether the gal leading the group was worth $100K. NO! That wasn’t even part of the equation. I remember lying in bed the night before turning in that application, pondering the investment I was about to make in MYSELF. Not in the group leader, not in the group, not in the deliverables of the mastermind, but in ME.

Once you realize that your clients are investing in themselves, you have the freedom to charge based on the value of the outcome or transformation that your service provides.

Isn’t that a relief? You don’t have to raise your self-esteem before you can raise your rates. You only have to stay focused on the transformation that you facilitate for your clients.

Whether your business is new or established, I’d like to offer you a gift. The questions below are taken from a process I walk through with my VIP clients. If you take the time to answer them in depth, you may be surprised to discover your offer on a deeper level than you’ve ever seen before, and to discover the value of that offer as seen through your client’s eyes.

Discover Your Offer and Its Value

  1. Imagine a specific client who is your best success story. What exact results did she or he get as a result of working with you? Spend some time here and really write it out in detail.
  2. Now, what other transformations happened because of those results? These are the bonuses, perhaps unexpected benefits from what you offer. For example, perhaps the person got married, or reconciled with his family, or sailed around the world, something she’d always wanted to do. Once you start thinking about this, you’ll find many of these extra results.
  3. Finally, what would have been the cost to that person had she or he not accepted your offer? Imagine all those wonderful outcomes that never would have happened.

My friends, really let yourself sit with the answer to #3, because this is the true VALUE of your offer. In most cases…priceless!

What are you worth?

Today I want to share with you a post I read on Lisa Sasevich’s blog. I think Lisa hit the nail on the head with it as most coaches I meet – and that included me for a very long time – do not dare to charge anywhere near enough for them to live a decent lifestyle from their coaching efforts. Very few make a good living and only a handfull make a fortune.

What is the difference? The difference is their mindset about the value of their work.

Let me give you an example:

What is the value of the coaching session I gave to a fellow coach who had just been left by her future husband? She was so devastated and not able to take care of her children and her life, let alone her clients. For 45 Minutes she kept telling me her version of what happened and how she hopes to fix it. No matter what I said, nothing got through to her until I told her that I will end the session so she can continue to wallow in her sorrow for a little while longer.  That got her attention and I was able to take her through some processes that totally changed her perception of the situation.

From that one coaching session her life turned around. She started a social life, became pro-active with here children as well as in her business and within days told me that I had done wonders. Obviously she had done the wonders herself but that one session got her on the path she could not see by herself.

Another example:

In a business seminar I attended in London I was paired up with a young man who owes a garage for high end luxury cars. We had to do write our elevator pitch and when he delivered his I was surprised there was nothing about him in the pitch at all so I gave him some coaching. It only took a few minutes but as he changed his approach I could see the sparkle turn on in his eyes and the pride return to his shoulders. I met him again a few months later in another event and he told me that those few minutes really changed his life. Because he sees himself in a different light now, he started doing things differently and is well on his way to financial freedom.

What are those results worth?

Obviously you do not always get the break through in 5 minutes or in one single session but you do get it as long as you have a good coach and you are open and willing to work with them.

As my preliminary turned out longer than intented I will post Lisa’s post tomorrow so we will continue on this topic. If you feel stuck, unhappy, unsatisfied… do consider getting yourself a coach and remember, you always get out of it what you put into it – be it money, time, attention and intention. Do not haggle with yourself or your coach. Be open.  The advice you get can be… priceless.

Negative Self-Talk

Negavite Self-Talk – Most of the time we are not even aware that we are doing it.

Throughout the course of normal conversation, many of us use negative self-talk. While planning our goals and dreams we stop ourselves from even starting by saying things like “I can’t…” “I’m not good enough,” or “I could never do this” This and the subtle little things that we say while on conversational autopilot that eat away at our self-confidence.

How many times have you heard someone say things like “that was dumb of me”, “typical of me to put my foot in it”, “I am so stupid” etc. My mother used to say that all the time when things din’t work quite the way she wanted them to. She did not even realize she was calling herself stupid. Even though I used to ask her not to do it, she continued out of pure habit. Fact is her confidence was very low and that was not surprising. I love you Mom!

Sometimes the negative comments are disguised as humor. “I’m just a country pumpkin,” “Oh well, what do you expect from a dumb blonde,” or “I think my mom dropped me one too many times as a baby!” The fact that anyone should feel a need to make excuses for themselves means that they have low self-confidence.

It is a subtle and difficult pattern to break. Most people do it without noticing that they are even doing it. It is said with the same automatic reponse as the “Fine, thanks” that always follows a “How are you?”

Raise your self-esteem

Raise your self-esteem

To get rid of it I recommend that you ask someone to help you. For example, in the Toastmaster Clubs you will be told when you have used fillers like Um, Ah, soooooo, or ya’ know. Words that are not necessary to bring your content across but that you use to fill the nervous gaps. We do not know we are doing it until someone points it out to us. After awhile, the speakers begin to hear these fillers themselves and stop using them. It will work similar with your negative self-talk.

It’s simple but it’s not easy. Offer to help a friend to overcome their automated negative comments by playing the same game with them. If they are guilty of saying a particular derogatory statement repeatedly, offer to help them to break the pattern. If you can admit to yourself that you are one of those people who say negative things about yourself or to yourself without even really thinking about it, then ask someone to help you. You would be amazed at how quickly you can stop the behavior if someone will just make you take notice. Self-awareness is the key to ending negative self-talk.

In case you are too embarrassed to ask for help, or you do not have anyone that you would trust enough to help you, you will have to make a huge effort to become more aware of the words you speak to yourself or during casual conversation. It is much more difficult, but still do-able.

Imagine that the negative statements are cuss words. You would not want to throw those kind of words around your boss, your grandma or worse, around children, would you?  Attach the same ‘No way!’ attitude to those negative self-talk statements. Start really listening to yourself. You will soon find out that you beat yourself up frequently for no reason whatsoever. So when you catch yourself rattling off these negative statements, just take notice and make a promise to yourself that you will stop. Keep noticing, until you do stop.

An even more effective way to stop negative self talk is to put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever these negative thoughts come up. That’s the fastest way to get rid of negative, disempowering thoughts and words.

Happy talking

Barbara Hofmeister

www.trainingvisions.com

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