Why you need a Mentor – Walk your Talk

My mentor reminded me of something this week…

People think once you are successful you don’t need a mentor or a coach but exactly the opposite is the case. You want me to walk my talk, don’t you? Why would you use me as a coach or a mentor if I don’t use one or as it is more than one? Because I am already there? No, remember the journey is the destination and there is always room for improvement. I could not be a personal growth coach if I would not strive to grow myself every single day. At the moment I have 2 mentors and 2 coaches in different areas of my life. You can do the same or take an older one like me (blush) that has experience in many areas.

And let’s talk about another misconception and that is fear is weakness. This is a big myth! Most people think that admitting their fear somehow makes them weak or unsuccessful. On this I agree with my mentor …. this is total baloney.

Here’s his advice on this one:

“I feel fear regularly…especially when I’m in the midst of creating a lot of cool, new stuff. When you step outside of the norms in business and life, expect some fear. Just don’t let it stop you. The best thing to do is to gently call yourself out on it and more importantly, call a friend or your coach.

The secret is to share your fear from a neutral place instead of feaking out and believing your fearful thoughts.

A philosophy that serves me well is the idea that every “failure” offers an opportunity to learn and grow. In fact, the Chinese symbol for “crisis” also represents “opportunity”, isn’t that interesting?

When something goes wrong or doesn’t unfold according to plan, rather than view it as a failure and get caught up in feeling bad or sorry for yourself, look for the lesson and take action acordingly.

Here’s what I mean…

Rather than continue to moan and groan and feel frustrated with the negative reaction re-focus on your goals and dreams and use your learning to do it better next time. Because there will be a next time, won’t there? And for those you need someone by your side that has been there and done it.

To your success

Barbara

The Root of the Problem

Who has not bought something that promised “heaven on earth”or “push button results” but then did not deliver? I myself have experiened that more than once especially when buying stuff about internet marketing.

I bought it because I thought the “Guru” would help me get where I want to go.

And this is the Root Of The Problem!

Because NO OUTSIDER can ever get you where you want to go.

YOU are the only person who can take you where you want to go!

YOU ARE THE ANSWER!

There is no Guru, teacher, mentor, author, speaker, shaman, or whatever who can do that for you. Ever!

Sure, they can show you what workes for them, they can give you motivation and encouragement …and they can help you keep moving when the going gets tough.

BUT YOU CANNOT EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO GET YOUR RESULTS FOR YOU. YOU CANNOT EXPECT THEM TO SAVE YOU.

They can’t! Not even if they want to. Only YOU can do that.

So whenever you’re considering buying advice, coaching, mentoring, seminar tickets, or whatever – understand this:

IT IS ALL WORTHLESS

…Unless you put what you learn immediately into action and keep using what works for you on a regular basis until it pays off for you.

And if you’re waiting until you get some big amazing break-through before you actually start moving in the direction of your dreams, you might be  waiting a very long time and never get to live your dreams.

But there is a truth and it is kind of anti-climax:

NOTHING WORKS UNLESS YOU USE IT!

And the stuff that’s worked for lots of other people will probably work for you too …IF YOU PUT IN THE EFFORT.

And that is the key word there.

Effort

I want to add another word to the effort and that is “educated”.

Now we have “educated effort”. And that is a great thing.

See, with “educated effort”, you can do anything you want.

If you add in a little “determination” you become damn near unstoppable.

Then throw in persistance and you WILL get to where you want to go – 100% sure!

Let’s take a look at the last part of that sentence.

YOU will get to where you want to go.

I didn’t say “[INSERT GURU HERE] will get you where you want to go”, did I?

Nope.

YOU will get yourself to where you want to go.

All a “Guru” can give you is education, motivation, and useful tools and techniques.

But that’s only 25% of what you need.

You still need to throw in 25% effort, 25% determination, and 25% persistance.

…And that’s the 75% that YOU and ONLY YOU can provide!

So that’s why

YOU are the only Guru who can get you to where you want to go!

So the gurus are not the problem. You – not putting what you learn into action – are the problem.

And I have been guilty of that too but we are here to learn how to improve our self and today’s lesson is a big one. If you get it, life will change 🙂

The books, the seminars and workshops aren’t the problem. Most of them work if you take the learning and add in some effort, determination, and persistance until things happen for you.

But that clearly is not what we do. Instead we keep buying books and go to seminars that go unused. We buy one thing and before using it fully we jump to the next one …without implementing the stuff we’ve just learned.

Why?

Because The Short-Term Pain Of Effort Is Often Perceived
To Be Worse Than The Long-Term Pain Of Failure!!!

There it is. The ugly truth…

It’s hard to get out there …try …work like crazy … probably hit a few road blocks …and then keep on moving forward until you succeed.

It’s a lot harder (and less fun) than buying the latest “ultimate workshop” or course and enjoying that temporary mental “high” that comes from the false sense of productivity you get from making the purchase and enjoying yourself during class.

But the fact is, the ONLY way you’ll get anywhere is to realize that YOU ARE THE GURU and that ONLY YOU can make it happen.

So if you keep on buying advice without putting forth determined and consistent effort to implement what you’ve learned, you will spend your time and money in vain.

But if you’re willing to endure the short-term discomfort that stems from stepping outside your comfort zone and actually start taking consistant action in the right direction, you’ll get to where you want to go.

All we so called “Gurus” can do for you is give you the tools. It’s up to you to put them into action.

My Challenge To You

It is the last month of the year and I want to give you a challenge:

1. Don’t buy any new advice in the next few weeks or even months. Go back and re-cap whatever you’ve learned in the past. It’s still valid and if used will be immensly valuable to you.

2. Turn off your computer and write all the good stuff you are re-learning in a journal. Do it OLD SCHOOL because by hand-writing what you find useful it will go deeper into your consciousness and will be easier to recall when you need it.

3. Review those notes and write down every possible action you could take to start walking towards your dreams – immediately. Do whatever actions jump out at you. Don’t over think this. Just do it. Life is short.

Mike Litman has the best words for this. He says:

“You don’t have to get it right. You just have to get it going.”

4. Join a support group, either build one yourself or join a GOOD Mastermind group. If you join a paid group make sure it is led by an experienced leader and do not pay everything up front just in case it does not fit your needs.

5. Get yourself an accountability partner. Make sure it is someone that also has big dreams and goals so you can support and help each other. This has to be a win-win situation for both.

6. Measure the results of your activities (note the word ACTIVITY!) and tweak accordingly if you notice that you are going off your choosen path.

7. Repeat 1-6 with determination and persistance until you truly live your dreams.

Pretty simple, isn’t it?

Oh – and if you’ve ever looked for a magic formula, that’s pretty much it.

Ask and it will be Given – Mastermind to Success

If you think asking for help is a weakness, think again. It shows maturity and strength as alone nobody is really successful.  Your Success Cycle offers you mentoring and coaching plus a true Mastermind Group monitored personally by me.  I can tell you from personal and very costly experience that usually you get put off to some coach who doesn’t know half of what you do or need.