Get the “TO BE” book NOW!

Today I want to make a shameless pitch. You are not used to that as I normally don’t sell but a girl must make a living 🙂

Seriously as you are following my blog and you are probably also following my facebook posts, you probably like what I do and my book “To be or not to be – the choice is YOURS” is the concentrated, step by step formula to get you from where you are today to where you want to go with your life. And it’s easy as the book is so clearly structured that you will go through it in a breeze while discovering what has been stopping you and how you can overcome it and walk towards your true destiny.

I wish from my heart that you will find the true, powerful you in the book. You can get the TO BE book either on Amazon or

Inside the TO BE book you will

  • start to see the greatness in you… page 8
  • see how well meaning advice is stopping you… page 53
  • have the right support to really live your dreams… page 83
  • paint a picture of your ‘perfect’ life… page 69
  • understand why NewYear resolutions don’t work… page 11
  • decide who and what is good for you… page74
  • learn how to balance your life… page 78
  • laugh at the worries you used to have… page 123
  • give an empowering promise to yourself… page 12
  • understand how powerful living in purpose is… page 43
  • stop being the victim once and for all… page 199
  • make sure you are going in the right direction… page 84
  • attain happiness through this very simple little habit… page  60
  • realize who and what is responsible for your life… page 15
  • understand that super achievers are no better than you… page 130
  • recognize who you truly want to become… page 23
  • become crystal clear on what needs to be done… page 169
  • learn how to grow your confidence… page 98
  • understand why you did not reach past goals… page 167
  • clearly see your future 5 years from now… page 29
  • recognize fears and overcome them… page 103
  • become aware of your values and beliefs…  page 135
  • appreciate the importance of failures… page 46
  • know what it is you really want… page 20
  • start living your vivid vision on a daily basis… page 182
  • become an expert in motivating yourself… page 57
  • realize what underlying beliefs create your self talk… page 62
  • know that you always have a choice in life… page 44
  • clearly define your destiny and purpose… page 146
  • learn that you can have anything you want… page 36
  • get a choice of different tools to balance your life… page 193
  • model the people you admire… page 67
  • make a personal declaration of independence… page 47
  • analyze 121 thoughts to focus only on positives… page 189
  • become clear how and when you make excuses… page 51
  • reward yourself for all your big and small achievements… page 86
  • look at your lost opportunites and how to avoid them… page 48
  • take first steps towards going from dream to reality… page 155
  • strengthen your belief in yourself and your abilities… page 91
  • define what are real opportunities… page 49
  • recognize how and when other’s disempower you… page 55
  • use a step by step process to achieve ANY goal… page 174
  • look forward instead of back… page 94
  • realize why we quit when we are adults… page 46
  • appreciate your positive qualities… page 95
  • realize that you are good enough… page 107
  • create a clear vision of your dream life… page 26
  • let go of worry… page 113
  • make a personal declaration of happiness… page 59
  • snap away your negative self talk… page 61
  • face your challenges and overcome them… page 117
  • learn which events made you into who you are today… page 16
  • declare your purpose to the universe… page 147
  • having total power over your life… page 204
  • discover the REAL POWERFUL YOU!

and be highly motivated to taking the right action steps


Do yourself a favor and get this book today and start truly living your dream

Negative Self-Talk

Negavite Self-Talk – Most of the time we are not even aware that we are doing it.

Throughout the course of normal conversation, many of us use negative self-talk. While planning our goals and dreams we stop ourselves from even starting by saying things like “I can’t…” “I’m not good enough,” or “I could never do this” This and the subtle little things that we say while on conversational autopilot that eat away at our self-confidence.

How many times have you heard someone say things like “that was dumb of me”, “typical of me to put my foot in it”, “I am so stupid” etc. My mother used to say that all the time when things din’t work quite the way she wanted them to. She did not even realize she was calling herself stupid. Even though I used to ask her not to do it, she continued out of pure habit. Fact is her confidence was very low and that was not surprising. I love you Mom!

Sometimes the negative comments are disguised as humor. “I’m just a country pumpkin,” “Oh well, what do you expect from a dumb blonde,” or “I think my mom dropped me one too many times as a baby!” The fact that anyone should feel a need to make excuses for themselves means that they have low self-confidence.

It is a subtle and difficult pattern to break. Most people do it without noticing that they are even doing it. It is said with the same automatic reponse as the “Fine, thanks” that always follows a “How are you?”

Raise your self-esteem

Raise your self-esteem

To get rid of it I recommend that you ask someone to help you. For example, in the Toastmaster Clubs you will be told when you have used fillers like Um, Ah, soooooo, or ya’ know. Words that are not necessary to bring your content across but that you use to fill the nervous gaps. We do not know we are doing it until someone points it out to us. After awhile, the speakers begin to hear these fillers themselves and stop using them. It will work similar with your negative self-talk.

It’s simple but it’s not easy. Offer to help a friend to overcome their automated negative comments by playing the same game with them. If they are guilty of saying a particular derogatory statement repeatedly, offer to help them to break the pattern. If you can admit to yourself that you are one of those people who say negative things about yourself or to yourself without even really thinking about it, then ask someone to help you. You would be amazed at how quickly you can stop the behavior if someone will just make you take notice. Self-awareness is the key to ending negative self-talk.

In case you are too embarrassed to ask for help, or you do not have anyone that you would trust enough to help you, you will have to make a huge effort to become more aware of the words you speak to yourself or during casual conversation. It is much more difficult, but still do-able.

Imagine that the negative statements are cuss words. You would not want to throw those kind of words around your boss, your grandma or worse, around children, would you?  Attach the same ‘No way!’ attitude to those negative self-talk statements. Start really listening to yourself. You will soon find out that you beat yourself up frequently for no reason whatsoever. So when you catch yourself rattling off these negative statements, just take notice and make a promise to yourself that you will stop. Keep noticing, until you do stop.

An even more effective way to stop negative self talk is to put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever these negative thoughts come up. That’s the fastest way to get rid of negative, disempowering thoughts and words.

Happy talking

Barbara Hofmeister

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