Why we all need strong Confidence

When you think about Confidence, what do you think of first? Is Confidence really important?

Until only a few years ago I was a fairly shy, introverted female – always driven to succeed but never

Speaking to 600 people about how to make your dreams come true

Speaking to 600 people about how to make your dreams come true

really succeeding. The reason was my lack of confidence and self esteem. In my eyes most people were better. I was never good enough and drove myself to study further, to work more but however much I did it never felt enough.

Have you ever have disempowering thoughts like that?

What do thoughts like that do to you? They stop you – they stop you to really achieve your dreams. They stop you to let your true light shine through. They stop you from living your true potential.

Less than a month ago I was speaking at a large conference in Sweden.I was really well prepared, the technician knew what to do – everything seemed perfectly arranged. But things rarely go that smoothly. The speaker before me ran overtime, the technician had not even started the laptop as had been pre-arranged; the recording equipment did not work…

The room filled up while we were fiddling about with the equipment and I hate it when a speaker is not ready for his audience. They lose me there and then and in this case I was the one not ready – arrgh! The introducer stumbled through my introduction in such an uninspiring way that I was happy when he was done and just as the technician finally managed to get my presentation on the screen the computer shut down again.

Armageddon in my head. All the preparation for this moment had gone up in smoke. Inwardly I was between fuming and crying but then I took a decision.I decided to start no matter what, knowing that I am strong, knowing that I am good enough to get my points across without any technical equipment. In that moment I stood tall and spoke from the depth of my soul aware that the audience deserved to see me at my BEST. And they did.

Would this have happened 10 years ago I would have been too upset to concentrate on the need of my audience. Why? Because I would have beaten myself up for everything that was happening. I would also have been very angry with the technician for not making sure everything worked as needed. I would have found fault.

What would the result have been? At best a mediocre presentation because audience can feel where you stand. If you are inside or in this case beside yourself they will not appreciate you because you do not appreciate them. Being able to consciously take a deep breath and step out of chaos into the feeling of calm confidence has changed my life enormously and it will change yours too.

 Today I know who I am and that knowledge gives me a strong confidence and healthy self-esteem. In how many chaotic situations do you make the empowering decision over the disempowering one? The decision to stand tall and give your best overcoming any chaos or challenge because you know who you are? Because you are centered within yourself? Because you have belief in yourself! Because you KNOW for a fact that you are strong enough to overcome anything!

Belief creates facts so start believing in yourself in order to create those facts you have always wanted in your life.

Life let’s you only get as far as your confidence permits. That is a proven fact you can see all around you. Nobody applies for a higher position unless they are confident that they can fill it. Nobody starts their own business unless they are confident in making it a success. Nobody flirts with someone they are attracted to unless they believe they have a chance.

I could give you hundreds of examples but for now let this be enough. Widen your boundaries, overcome your fears and doubts and consciously build your confidence every single day. Dare to do things you have never dared before because that will give you plenty of opportunities to stand tall to show the world (and yourself) who you are.

To your success

Barbara Hofmeister

www.thetobebook.com

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YOU are good enough!

Let me share a post I read in a forum. It was about self consciousness:

“I decided that I’d go to McDonald’s to get some food. Now I’m not overweight, but I do like McDonald’s and I work a lot so there are times when I end up there too often. On my way there I couldn’t decide which one to go to.

The reason, you ask?

Well, I thought that maybe the lady from one of the drive thrus would remember me, and the fact that I’d been there three times this week. I therefore considered going to the other McDonald’s in the area. I had to overcome my fear of encountering the McDonald’s employee and I did it. The question is, why the hell do I have to overcome it? I didn’t even know the lady at the window, and even if I did, so what? Nevertheless, things like this run through my mind and they bother me.

Moving on, I got my food at McDonald’s and then I drove home. Before leaving the car I was paranoid about whether or not to put the bag in my briefcase so that people from my apartment wouldn’t see that I was eating at McDonald’s. Now that I’m writing about it it’s kind of funny, but I’m dead serious about this. A thought such as, “They’re gonna see that I’ve visited McDonald’s three times this week and I’m not eating properly”. Who the hell cares, right? ”

Yes, that is right! Who cares?

Because we take ourselves serious doesn’t mean other people do too. Because we feel so important, doesn’t mean others feel we are important enough for them to spend their thoughts on us. Being self conscious is usually about feeling guilty or not good enough.

If we perform poorly (not up to our own expectation or what we know we “should” do) we look around us to see if anyone else has noticed. For instance you can’t get into a parking space and have to go back and forth several times. If you feel bad about that you will look around to see who has been watching and should there be someone you will feel worse. But why should you care? Do you think the others never had this happen to them? And how do you know what they think or feel when they look your way? They might admire your car or admire you as you get out; or their thoughts could be on a completely different topic altogether while glazing your way accidentally.

I met a young woman at one of my seminars who told me about her life’s purpose and her vision. She was very clear about it and well on her way to make them come true and just as I was going to tell her how much I admire the direct road she is traveling; she said she feels so small and insignificant next to me. I was completely shocked. Why couldn’t she see how much good she was doing already?

It was because her expectations on herself were so extremely high that she could hardly fulfill them. So she became self conscious, criticized herself and felt she was not good enough. What a lot of nonsense!

If you have to beat yourself up do it about something that you really screwed up (like burning your house down because you left the iron on) but never because you don’t fulfill your own XXL oversized expectations. If you feel you are not achieving enough or are not good enough talk to a true friend and ask them what they think about you. In most cases you will be really surprised how highly your friends value you. But in all cases it will give you a different perspective to look at!

We are all good enough!

Love life and life will love you
Barbara

www.yoursuccesscycle.com