Integrate the lessons

On my last trip to London they actually upgraded me to business class on the way back. I thought that was nice of the universe -.) and of British Airways! Something else to be grateful for.

I went to London solely to attend a seminar on NLP and Time Line Therapy. The 2 days were extemely interesting and once more I learned a lot about myself but one of the most interesting conversations I had there were during the break on Sunday with Daniel, a young man I had met at the Self-development Expo a few months earlier.

Daniel asked whether I was going to another event Andy Harrington was doing a couple of weeks later and I said “No, not this time. Why do you ask?” I loved his answer because he said what I thought but had never formulated before.

Here it is: “There are many people who go to the same events again and again. I love going to seminars but I don’t book another one until I have integrated at least one thing I learned at the last one. If I don’t really put what I learn into action there seems to be no point in going.”Isn’t that a wise choice? Thanks Daniel for saying it so eloquently.

I have a friend who did the whole Tony Robbins curriculum including Fidji followed by some heavy doses of NLP but we can’t see any real changes in her. While another friend who has gone to only one Tony Robbins and to one NLP Training has put everything she learned to work and is now making a name for herself as a speech trainer.

These seminars, workshops and books work but only if we use what we learn. When I see this type of change and improvement in one of my “To be” members it makes me feel really proud like a parent when their kids have achieved something. That is what my work is all about. Helping people improve and change their life for the better. Could there be any better?

Love your life and it will love you back!


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Charisma like James Bond

James Bond is the original Goldenballs. The man walks as though he has golden nuggets between his legs that every woman wants to get her hands on, and every man would like to possess! He has an attitude of being in control and he has bucket loads of charisma.

Charisma is one of the greatest tools for success and high impact thinking. When you think of charisma, people like Cary Grant, George Clooney, Bill Clinton or Tony Robbins might come to mind. Perhaps you marvel at the charisma of Oprah or the regal wisdom of Maya Angelou. Charisma is charm, warmth and personal magic. It is not dependent on physical attractiveness. Charisma is about fire and inner spirit and the ability to connect with others.

Charismatic people are hard to dislike and hard to harm. That is why it is such a wonderful weapon in the secret agents mental armoury. They seem powerful; this gives them an edge. They seem disarmingly warm and friendly; it’s so much harder to be nasty to someone you actually like. So they have this psychic shield around them.

A healthy self-concept gives you the “bottle” to take action, to stand your own against the richest / smartest / most powerful people. With a winning attitude and the charisma that goes with it, you can get into places and into minds that would otherwise be sealed.

How do you get this charismatic high self-concept?

It starts with liking and loving yourself.

The simplest ideas are often the most effective.

Every day repeat to yourself, “I like myself. I love and accept myself as I am. I am highly pleasing to myself in the presence of other people.”

Begin to count your blessings. What do you like about yourself? Appreciate those things. Account for them regularly. What are you good at? What are you getting better at? How are you improving? Who loves you and whom do you love?

That takes care of half of charisma. The other half comes from asking yourself: “What’s interesting / fascinating / sexy about this person? What do I really like about him / her? How can I be of service to this person? How can I make this person feel better right now than they did before they met me?” Taking a sincere interest in other people is a habit that can be learned as easily as the habit of ignoring or disliking other people was learned. Switch them.

To grease the wheels of charisma further, you can also look at presentation, personal grooming, posture, health and above all quality of your speaking voice. All those are covered and freely available on the web. A quick Google search should reveal all!

And now the flip side.

The real genius of attitude is being able to adjust it to meet the circumstances. There are times in a secret agent’s life when it pays NOT to be a tall poppy. Then one has to play with the inner psychology, to temper one’s persona like a chameleon to become invisible, unnoticed, so that one might observe more closely or escape without being caught.

Your mind is a most marvellous machine. And you can adjust your moods, emotions, and the level of projected energy with consummate ease. Simply put yourself into the physiological state of the emotion or feeling that you wish to elicit. Stand and breathe and think as you would if you were having that emotion. Bestride the decks like a giant, a colossus of confidence. Then switch to being like a shy, quiet, small man or woman in the corner. Switch between these states. Switch between happy and sad, between joyful and angry, between passionate and bored. Keep doing it until you realise that you do indeed control your emotional states. You do not need outer circumstances to change for you to feel better. You change the inner circumstances and make the emotions you want. E-motions are energy in motion. You set them in motion.

Play with taking your emotions to higher and higher levels. Turn up the joy dial. Turn up the feelings of bliss. Adjust your attitude from poor me to lucky me, from bad me to wonderful me. You set the tone. You control the deck.

Article by Wily Walnut

Cure Depression and Self Sabotage

This video shows you a full intervention Tony Robbins did with a lady that suffered from depression and self-sabotage. It goes through the whole process.

I am sorry that I cannot embed the video here. In this case I just don’t know how to do it. Just follow the link. It is well worth it.

Cure Depression and lead a happy, fulfilled Life

I fail just like you

Today I had one of those eerie experiences when a new client treated me as if I was “super human”.  You know one of those “perfect” human beings that has the answers to everything and lives THE ideal life. But there is no such thing!!!

I want you to be aware of that. There is no such thing as the “perfect” human being that knows ALL the answers and is ALWAYS right. There is no such thing as the “perfect” life without problems. Every one of us makes mistakes and has their struggles and challenges. Every one – me included.

What is different is that we know we are responsible for our life and that we can always have the choice to turn it around.

Many years ago I invited a good friend to go to one of Tony Robbins seminars. She was excited and wanted to buy tickets. Then she found out he was getting divorced. She told me “how can I let someone who doesn’t have a grip on his own life help me with mine?” and she never went.  A few years later she booked the Landmark Forum, a course I cannot recommend highly enough. Just before the course started she found out the facilitator got divorced and again, she cancelled even though she knew the forum had done wonders for me but “these people” were not “perfect” enough for her even though she was divorced herself and had even lived with her Ex-husband, her new male friend and her small children in the same house for a while. I call that Hypocrisy.

I don’t want to go on but I do want you to be aware that we are all human. We might be specialists in human growth, in change, in achieving success and abundance but mainly it is because we live our dreams. We do what we love to do. And we do it with love and passion. That makes our life good and makes us good at what we are doing.

No matter in which area you are a specialist. No matter what you love to do, it is in this area that you will feel most fulfilled and happy and will get greatest acceptance. Come from the heart and do the best you can at all times and the results will follow.

Be well


You can be anything you want to be!

You can be anything you want to be! And exactly here is our challenge. To dare something new we must move out of our comfort zone and believe me, that is not easy. We feel comfortable in what we know, we feel safe and secure even if we are in a miserable situation because the devil we know… I am sure you know the proverb. But if we continue to do…

Einstein put this very nicely:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.”

To help you move out of your comfort zone visualize what it would be like when you have reached your big dream. Open your boundaries and dream in 3D. Visualize in every little detail, with all 5 senses what life could be like when you are actually there. Close your eyes and daydream and only when you can “see” yourself in your perfect day and have a wide grin on your face and a nice, warm feeling inside, open your eyes and write it all down. Every little bit of it. Where you are, what you feel, who is around you, what you do, is it warm or cold, are you in a city or in the country, is it a special day of celebration…

Make it a very vivid Vision of your perfect day. Imagination is the root of everything we do and by far the most powerful tool to succeed. Unless you can imagine yourself being happier, richer, thinner, fitter, or whatever it is you want to achieve, the chances of you ever getting there are slim.

Your brain needs to ‘see’ the results of your actions before it will allow you to apply your time and effort on striving for them. But unfortunately, although we are all blessed with imaginative powers as children, those powers very often fade as we enter adulthood. Remember the 95 % confidence we have as children and only 5 % as adolescents.

Regaining your ability to imagine, to picture something in your mind so complete that all your senses can experience it, IS possible. It just takes a little bit of practice. The more detailed your written “vision” is the more it will draw you towards actually getting there. Mine gets longer and longer and I feel great when I read it – which you should do frequently.

Jim Rohn says: “If the why is strong enough, the how becomes easy.” It is up to you to create your WHY. Get yourself into the feeling. This is the strongest technique to create belief in yourself!!! My clients say it is like giving birth and it really is incredibly motivating.

Honestly look into the amount of time you give to your dreams every day? For most of us it is NONE so how can we expect to ever make them come true?

It is only when your vision is clear that you should ask yourself: What do I have to do to get there? Always start with the end result in mind! That is what most of us do wrong. We start walking before we know exactly where we want to go to. In consequence it is no surprise that we stray off and get discouraged.

Work with the secrets of those who have done the “impossible”. Change your programming from “What if I fail?” to “What if I succeed? Then what?” Would that scare you? It shouldn’t! You are the Best in whatever field you are passionately involved in. But first you must know exactly what you want. Your vision has to be crystal clear to you.

Sorry, if I get carried away but I really want you to get this.

Dr. Schuler, Edison , Mandela, Trump, Robbins and a lot of other extremely successful people all have these 3 things in common.

The first key is that they know exactly what they want and start with the end in mind.
The second key is BELIEF. People who do the impossible believe they can do it and eventually they do!
And the third: They act in spite of their fears; in spite of their doubts and in spite of what their family and friends might tell them.

Always remember: These are your dreams not theirs. This is your life not theirs!

Dare to go further, dare to create new experiences, implant greater ideas. Act in spite of your fears and doubts – again and again. Move on even if you feel uncomfortable. It is in those moments that you grow.

I wish you to be ALL YOU CAN BE and that is anything you want to be!

To your success!

Barbara Hofmeister

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