The legend of Narcissus tells of a young man who, upon seeing his reflection in a clear pond, fell hopelessly in love with himself. Unable to tear his gaze away from his reflection, he could not eat, could not sleep, until finally, he pined away and died.
Unfortunately, the myth of Narcissus is too often our concept of self-love. We believe that if we truly love ourselves, we are selfish and self-centered. We believe, that falling in love with self means conceit and self-absorption.
In fact, the opposite is true!
Self-love is an honoring of the self that requires a high degree of independence and courage.
The love we give others will be enhanced by the love we give ourselves.
Please read the above more than once. It is really important to understand. A lack of self-love is a sign of low self-esteem or low self-worth and shows its face in many ways: a refusal to enjoy life, workaholism, perfectionism, procrastination, guilt, shame and fear. Those who lack self-love avoid commitments, stay in destructive relationships, and fail to experience true intimacy with anyone. They practice negative self-talk, compare themselves with others (usually only with THE BEST), caretake others and fail to take good care of themselves. Unlike Narcissus, when they look in a mirror, they see nothing special and might even turn away.
What is notable in people who do not love themselves fully is a lack of confidence and belief in themselves and that will manifest itself in the results they create. Confidence, self-acceptance, self-love all influence what we do and how we do it and therefore greatly influences how we live our life. In my work as a coach, I often come across people who have great dreams or who had great dreams but they self-sabotage and take little to no action to make them come true. The reason is their lack of self-love. They do not believe in themselves and therefore do not believe that they can achieve what they dream of. Frequently they give up on their dreams and aspirations but still, they compare themselves to others who did not and that makes them feel even smaller, even less significant.
If you can relate to this, STOP DOING IT!!!
There is nothing more important than how you feel and think about yourself!!!
Because it influences every decision you make, every move you take.
As a matter of fact, it massively influences the life you lead.
To help respect and love yourself more, look back and make a list of all you have already done, all you have achieved in your life. Start with Kindergarten, school, college, relationships, awards, learnings, experiences and so on. It will be a long list and if you take this exercise seriously, you will be surprised how great you already are, how worthy you are. Start on that now and I will give you a few more ways of bulletproofing your self-esteem and confidence in my next blog post
To be continued…