Let me share a post I read in a forum. It was about self-consciousness and being good enough:
I decided that I’d go to McDonald’s to get some food. Now I’m not overweight, but I do like McDonald’s and I work a lot so there are times when I end up there too often. On my way there I couldn’t decide which one to go to.
The reason, you ask?
Well, I thought that maybe the lady from one of the drive-thrus would remember me, and the fact that I’d been there three times this week. I, therefore, considered going to the other McDonald’s in the area. I had to overcome my fear of encountering the McDonald’s employee and I did it. The question is, why the hell do I have to overcome it? I didn’t even know the lady at the window, and even if I did, so what? Nevertheless, things like this run through my mind and they bother me.
Moving on, I got my food at McDonald’s and then I drove home. Before leaving the car I was paranoid about whether or not to put the bag in my briefcase so that people from my apartment wouldn’t see that I was eating at McDonald’s. Now that I’m writing about it it’s kind of funny, but I’m dead serious about this. A thought such as, “They’re gonna see that I’ve visited McDonald’s three times this week and I’m not eating properly”. Who the hell cares, right?
Yes, that is right! Who cares?
Because we take ourselves serious doesn’t mean other people do too. Because we feel so important, doesn’t mean others feel we are important enough for them to spend their thoughts on us. Being self-conscious is usually about feeling guilty or not good enough.
If we perform poorly (not up to our own expectation or what we know we “should” do) we look around us to see if anyone else has noticed. For instance, you can’t get into a parking space and have to go back and forth several times. If you feel bad about that you will look around to see who has been watching and should there be someone you will feel worse. But why should you care? Do you think the others never had this happen to them? And how do you know what they think or feel when they look your way? They might admire your car or admire you as you get out, or their thoughts could be on a completely different topic altogether while glazing your way accidentally.
I met a young woman at one of my seminars who told me about her life’s purpose and her vision. She was very clear about it and well on her way to make them come true and just as I was going to tell her how much I admire the direct road she is traveling; she said she feels so small and insignificant next to me. I was completely shocked. Why couldn’t she see how much good she was doing already?
It was because she was comparing herself to people she looked up to. Her expectations on herself were so high that she could hardly fulfill them. So she became self-conscious, criticized herself and felt she was just not good enough.
What a lot of nonsense!
If you have to beat yourself up, then at least do it over something where you really screwed up (like burning your house down because you left the iron on) but never because you don’t fulfill your own XXL super-sized expectations. If you feel you are not achieving enough or are not good enough, talk to a true friend and ask them what they think about you. In most cases, you will be really surprised how highly your friends value you. But in all cases, it will give you a different perspective to look at!
You are good enough!
We are all good enough!
Love life and life will love you